Inside
volunteer's letter explaining what the VAWA is
actualizing in America
Bethany
House Virginia - A One Stop Divorce Shop
Here is a story/report on what is really going on with VAWA money and
D.V Shelters. This letter was brought to my attention by a Virginia
resident who is opposed to the VAWA.
Marc Snider
To: Health and Human Services, United Way of the National Capitol
Area, National Organization for Women, Feminist Majority, et alia,
Dear Sir/Madam,
I have been a volunteer worker at Bethany House of Northern Virginia,
5901 Leesburg Pike, Falls Church, Virginia, a private non-profit so
called battered women's shelter. I wish to remain anonymous for fear of
personal and professional reprisals by my co-workers and the Bethany
House staff.
In my experience working at the shelter I am appalled and outraged by
what is really going on at Bethany House of Northern Virginia (BHNV). To
put it bluntly, it is for most part nothing more than a "one stop
divorce shop for emotional and bored housewives who want a change of
life".
It is also largely used as a free hostel for women with emotional
problems if they are willing to hate their husbands enough and are
willing to take out protective orders against their husbands. Women who
follow BHNV's agenda are guaranteed residency at the shelter for up to 7
months. All of this in the name of a Battered Women's shelter is
sickening to disgust.
From my observations, the goal of Bethany House is to get bored and
emotional housewives to leave their marital home after infuriating them
with a heavy dose of husband bashing, anti-male talk, patriarchy, and
negative motivation. This is carefully planned and executed by the
Bethany House staff and volunteers. Simple tasks as cooking, cleaning,
laundry, taking care of children are explained to the housewives as
abusive and demeaning tasks forced upon them by their spouses.
Marital arguments are explained as serious verbal abuse. Occasional
pushing and showing are explained as serious physical abuse.
Decision-making is shown as emotional abuse. The staff and volunteers,
through a network of sources, identify emotional housewives. With a
series of pep talks, tests and evaluations, BHNV staffs make the wives
and husbands incompatible, infuriate the wife with propaganda, and then
exploit the wife's frustration and anger as retaliation against the
husband. The wife is given verbal and written instructions on how to
leave the house secretly for the BHNV shelter.
Bethany House system resources are geared to get the father charged
with an offence and to make the mother look like the victim and the
children ending up as helpless pawns in the abuse game manipulated by
BHNV.
Women with almost no marital problems are declared abused and are
coached by the staff to go to court and get a protective order against
their husbands with the promise of long-term shelter, legal services,
counseling at BHNV.
BHNV also uses scare tactics to get women to file a protective order.
This is a gross abuse of a system that was designed for real battered
women.
Most of the staff and volunteers at BHNV have a jaundiced view of
marriage and men, and attach little importance to the role of fathers in
children's lives.
A majority of these staff and volunteers are women who are themselves
from broken marriages and failed relationships, enraged with a
bottomless pit of anger at men.
Women, staff and volunteers at the shelter use foul language and
spend a lot of time father bashing, husband bashing and hold group
sessions to initiate the same feelings to new residents.
Bethany House is a terrible place, not the environment where children
should be. Not even women.
A lot of Bethany House activities are carefully doctored and
monitored and have to remain behind a "veil of secrecy."
The BHNV network with their legal services, sociologists, and
psychiatrists practice a self-censorship. It's just a lot of radical
feminists making biased judgements against fathers, husbands, and
families.
BHNV has repeatedly lied to charities that they are a church and
religious organization. Indeed they are located within the Culmore
United Methodist Church complex. But all they do is rent space and have
no connection with the Church.
BHNV has misrepresented and repeatedly lied to the United Way of the
National Capitol Area regarding BHNV's position for several years.
In their United Way of the National Capitol Area CVC Code 8046
Charity Application form 2002, which I was involved in, I and other
volunteers were told to outright lie and make it as family oriented as
possible. According to the wording in the charity form in verbatim,
which I quote below.
(a) "BHNV family assistance program for battered spouses and their
children provides multiple interventions blended into a comprehensive
family development/family strengthening plan."
(b) "Outreach staff work with each family to examine and alter
behaviors, and to enhance each victim's capacity to exercise
self-determination and autonomy."
(c) "Once stabilized, victims implement customized family
strengthening strategies, accessing services and advocating for clients
to ensure realization of each individual's"
I can vouch for the fact that none of the above statements presented
to United Way 2002 charity are anywhere near truth. Their so-called
family assistance program:
(a) excludes children, fathers, husbands and indeed family interests.
And does exclude to a large part the self-determination and autonomy of
the housewife they supposedly "rescue." It in fact represents BHNV's
interests almost exclusively to the fullest extent possible.
(b) Outreach staff never work with families, neither do they make any
attempt to alter behavior as they claim. They secretly meet with the
wife and encourage her to pack up and leave with the children for the
shelter and file a protective order against the father. This is almost
always the rule — even if there was no abuse within the family. Outreach
staff never assesses issues presented by the family. The father or any
male member is never consulted in this case. Indeed the father is by
default the abuser of the mother.
(c) There is no family strengthening strategies for the victims as
they claim. By this time the poor housewife is converted into a victim
by BHNV with no recourse but to depend on BHNV for her financial
stability, the children are alienated from their father by a protective
order BHNV helped the housewife achieve. The father is sued for child
and spousal support with the legal help of BHNV. Not only does BHNV
impoverish a family by breaking them apart, but legally and morally
commits child abuse by removing children from their home and putting
them in a shelter. Away from their school, friends, and other familiar
activities.
I have spoken with several wives at BHNV who have deeply regretted
having contacted BHNV and acting on BHNV's advice. They have all been
told to outright lie and fabricate half-truths to distort. They have all
taken out protective orders against their husbands in "the heat of the
moment" at BHNV's suggestions and deeply regret destroying their
marriage, family, husband and their children's future and "burning their
boat" at any reconciliation much to their dismay.
I implore and beg your office to investigate and do something soon to
stop this senseless break up of families and needless trauma to
children. Please do something. The children of Fairfax County do not
deserve this kind of cruelty, This is happening right under our very
noses. Please do something now!
_________________________________________________________________________________________
The Best
Parent is BOTH Parents!
_________________________________________________________________________________________
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